Survival

Apologies for my protracted absence from the blogosphere! I a few bits and bobs to update on, so I'll try to keep it relatively brief and free from waffle...

- In October I had the first week of teaching for my MSc. I'm studying towards this master's at Imperial, and so far I'm really enjoying it. As well as it being a fun week socially (it was down in London so I stayed with my sister, met @lilDrSunshine who is doing the same course, and caught up with some old friends from school I haven't seen in years), it was also just what I needed from a professional/academic point of view. The lectures were mostly on the foetal and early life origins of disease, which is an area I find very interesting, mostly due to the influence of a certain tutor who has been very supportive over the past few years. We also had some teaching in how to write research proposals, which will prove very useful should I succeed in my goal of becoming an academic. It was really nice just to be thinking again, using my brain to work through proper science. The fact that I didn't check my phone or tweet during any of the lectures just shows how interesting they must have been! I'm now working on my first proper assignment for the course, which is a research proposal - I'll let you know how I get on with it.

- I have survived my first job! Actually, technically I'm not 100% sure whether or not I have as I don't have my final end of placement assessment with my supervisor until Wednesday, so I may have completely failed but I'm banking on my theory that if I was likely to fail someone would have told me already - best not to count my chickens before they're hatched though! Anyway, I have physically and mentally survived my first 4 months as an FY1. Having spoken to a lot of people who've worked on those wards, they're notoriously difficult for junior staff, so I'm hoping my next job will be a bit less stressful! Even if the set up is mostly unchanged, I suppose I have 4 months of experience behind me now. I started my new rotation with 2 night shifts (covering the same wards I covered on nights in my last job) and I'm now on annual leave until 21st December, so I'll let you know how I'm getting on once I've worked my long day on Christmas day and night shifts over New Year!!!

- As mentioned, I've definitely drawn the short straw and am working both Christmas and New Year, however it does mean I have the week off in February I need for the next instalment of MSc teaching. I'm already looking forward to going down, although this time I won't get the overnight train back up north and then work a long weekend (seriously, it isn't recommended).

- I suppose I ought to take some time to reflect on my health at this time. As well health issues having been a worry for me in the past, it's also one of my "Duties as a doctor" (so say the GMC) that I'm aware of my own health and take care of myself. Having been told by various well-meaning people at various points that I would have a major crash in my mood once I started work, I've been pleasantly surprised. Working longish hours and being on my feet most of the days means I'm tired enough that I sleep pretty well when I go to bed. Eating is something to be done quickly when there's time, so it's fairly regimented too. The biggest "problem" I have, if it can even be called that, is that because I work intense bursts of up to 12 days on without a break, I also have quite a lot of free time where I'm  likely to over think. Fortunately I'm focussing on my MSc in this time so I'm keeping my mind nice and busy.

Right, I think that's me relatively up to date. I'll probably blog more in the next few weeks as I procrastinate whilst I try to write this assignment!

xxx

That's Life, That's What All The People Say...

Well, the past few weeks have been something of an emotional roller coaster. As well as dealing with some very challenging things at work, I've also split with the guy I was seeing (definitely for the best but I'm still gutted) and lost my Nana (we weren't close but I hate seeing my Dad so upset).

My first run of 12 shifts in a row was really quite exhausting. Being able to switch my alarm clock off when I went to bed on Friday felt like a definite luxury. Even though I don't start work particularly early (9am so the alarm goes off around 7), it's amazing how tiring it can feel just knowing there isn't the option of a lie in at all! The weekend in particular was pretty tough as I was working 12.5 hour days on Friday, Saturday and Sunday with very little in the way of senior support.

Being a doctor is much more emotionally demanding than I had anticipated. I'm not sure whether this is because I've also had other stresses in my life or I was just rather naive when I started. I seem to have a lot of patients who are either essentially dying or medically as fit as we can make them but unable to leave the hospital because there are social/care provision issues. I wasn't quite prepared to be discussing end of life care with relatives after only a matter of weeks in the job, nor was I aware that I'd be representing the "medical team" at case conferences and meetings so early in my career.

I'm now on a week of annual leave, which is a bit strange. I hadn't really anticipated having any length of time off so soon after starting work, but we get allocated our leave so someone will always have it in August - and at least I didn't have the first two weeks of the month off like some of my friends did! I'm not doing an awful lot but I get paid on Thursday so maybe I'll do something a bit more exciting when I have some cash...

Nothing more exciting to report, sadly, but my MSc starts in October so I should have something useful to write about then!

xxx