Well, the past few weeks have been something of an emotional roller coaster. As well as dealing with some very challenging things at work, I've also split with the guy I was seeing (definitely for the best but I'm still gutted) and lost my Nana (we weren't close but I hate seeing my Dad so upset).
My first run of 12 shifts in a row was really quite exhausting. Being able to switch my alarm clock off when I went to bed on Friday felt like a definite luxury. Even though I don't start work particularly early (9am so the alarm goes off around 7), it's amazing how tiring it can feel just knowing there isn't the option of a lie in at all! The weekend in particular was pretty tough as I was working 12.5 hour days on Friday, Saturday and Sunday with very little in the way of senior support.
Being a doctor is much more emotionally demanding than I had anticipated. I'm not sure whether this is because I've also had other stresses in my life or I was just rather naive when I started. I seem to have a lot of patients who are either essentially dying or medically as fit as we can make them but unable to leave the hospital because there are social/care provision issues. I wasn't quite prepared to be discussing end of life care with relatives after only a matter of weeks in the job, nor was I aware that I'd be representing the "medical team" at case conferences and meetings so early in my career.
I'm now on a week of annual leave, which is a bit strange. I hadn't really anticipated having any length of time off so soon after starting work, but we get allocated our leave so someone will always have it in August - and at least I didn't have the first two weeks of the month off like some of my friends did! I'm not doing an awful lot but I get paid on Thursday so maybe I'll do something a bit more exciting when I have some cash...
Nothing more exciting to report, sadly, but my MSc starts in October so I should have something useful to write about then!
xxx
Lol, it makes me feel confused :p
ReplyDeleteSeein the blogs of other docs make me unsure wether i wanna study medicine or not. Everyone is just complainin how tired they are nd how stressin it is. Whats the good side of bein a doc? Isnt the contact between the patient gud nd nice? I see tht ur workin with kids, must be fun, right?
P.s first time readin ur blog
Well being a junior doctor IS tiring and stressful. I don't work in paediatrics at the moment although possibly going to do that in the future. Some patient contact is good and a lot is frustrating. From where I am now I can see the satisfaction that someone more senior could get but lots of my job is admin and routine and I don't really have to think a lot. That said, being a junior doctor has always been rubbish and it's much better now than it used to be. This is just a necessary stepping stone to where I hope to be in the future.
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